Gifty Vouchez

Some people have probably been thinking "Where the fuck are the gift vouchers?". Yeah well, I have now removed the finger that was lodged in an orifice located below my waist. Two types of gift vouchers are now available, 'Naughty' and 'Nice'. Maybe read below before choosing which gift card is most appropriate for your dearly beloved...

 NAUGHTY - Probably not the gift card you want to give to your Grandma or Grandpa, (unless your Grandpa is right filthy and has similarities to Harold). Obscene language and references to extensive consumption of alcohol and the affects on the body thereafter are referenced on this gift voucher. Suitable for new borns and infant children who can not read and understand what is being said. Probably 18+

NICE - The standard boring old gift voucher. Suitable for everyone who doesn't have  sense of humour or a slightly obscene streak in their personality. Probably more suitable for Grandma and Grandpa. Probably won't get a laugh out of it, maybe just a smile and probably a quick "thanks" because you actually did something nice for someone for once in your life.